I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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