I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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