Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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