What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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