What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
