Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
