Im at strip club and am horny
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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