Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
