I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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