You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
organizing the empties. That sober.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
