dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
