Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
