Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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