Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
