I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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