Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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