For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i came on her dog
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
