talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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