Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
a search helicopter?!
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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