Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
