Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
