the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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