At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
