I heard we made out
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
third nipple confirmed
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
