I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Text me some of your sweat
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