jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i think my mom watched the whole time
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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