woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
