Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Your penis caused this!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
