i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
