Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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