week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Randomize
