I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
