your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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