I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I need to sanitize my soul.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
