i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
