Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
