is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
