sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
