Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
