Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize