i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
