Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
