forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
