in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
