If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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