dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize