who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
