it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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