If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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