i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
