There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize