i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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