We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
