I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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