Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
