i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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