Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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