I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
