If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm like, not good at living.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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