I love black thongs
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
