That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
