I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
