I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
