your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize