i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
