he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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