thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I hate your face
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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