nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
