He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
