The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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