there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
