We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize