I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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